A fast and affordable New York divorce is within reach of most couples, provided that they put aside their emotional baggage and focus on finding common ground.
The media is filled with horror stories about never-ending divorce proceedings that inflict a tsunami of trauma upon couples and their children. In reality, most matrimonial cases (in New York and elsewhere) are amicably resolved without lengthy court proceedings. The majority of New York divorce cases are "uncontested" matters that are processed quickly by the courts. New York courts do not require parties to testify in court to get a judgment of divorce in uncontested matrimonial cases.
The following are a few steps you can take to maximize your chance of amicably resolving your divorce case:
# 1: Retain a Divorce Lawyer Who Will Try to Amicably Resolve Your Case:
I have been practicing divorce law in New York for more than 19 years. During this period, I have negotiated with and/or litigated against hundreds (if not thousands) of divorce attorneys. The vast majority of attorneys seek the best possible results for their clients and recognize that most middle class couples are unable to afford the cost of a fully-litigated divorce. However, some attorneys are unwilling to adopt anything less than a scorched-earth campaign for their clients. Unless you have completely ruled out the possibility of an amicable settlement, I would recommend that you avoid any lawyer who tries to sell you the pipe dream of getting a monumental victory at trial. When divorce cases go to trial, both spouses endure stress and huge costs. Find a lawyer who is willing to use both a carrot and a stick.
Tip # 2: Full Financial Disclosure is Essential:
Full disclosure by both spouses is an essential prerequisite for settlement. In fact, most divorce lawyers in New York will not allow you to settle without having first ensured that both you and your spouse have exchanged statements setting forth your assets, liabilities, incomes, and other financial matters. Settlement agreements that are not preceded by such disclosure are vulnerable to legal challenges. Failure to exchange full financial disclosure makes it less likely that a case will settle. In New York, financial disclosure in divorce cases is typically effectuated by the exchange of net worth statements. If there are questions regarding a particular asset (such a bank account), it is common for parties to provide authorizations for the release of information by the institution to the other party.
Tip # 3: Preparation and Knowledge:
Like most endeavors in life, your odds of successfully negotiating the financial issues in your divorce will be greatly enhanced by preparation. Regardless of whether you are negotiating independently or with the assistance of counsel, you should become acquired with the law governing your case. For example, you should know that New York is an "equitable distribution" state, and that property acquired during the marriage is presumed to be marital property. A party attempting to overcome that presumption bears the burden of overcoming that presumption.
Tip # 4: Avoid the Temptation to Use Divorce Proceedings as an Outlet for Getting Revenge.
The end of any intimate relationship is painful and traumatic. Many people find that by meeting with a therapist, they are able to resolve their emotional issues. Some people try use divorce proceedings as a way express their bitterness over the wrongs that were inflicted upon them during their marriage. Typically, they are disappointed. New York courts are overburdened and slow, and divorce judges focus on financial issues, rather than which party was at "fault". Protracted court proceedings will inflict more trauma. Although compromising is difficult, it will likely bring the greatest benefit at the lowest cost.
Marc A. Rapaport is a New York divorce attorney with 19 years of experience. Mr. Rapaport is the founder of Manhattan's Rapaport Law Firm, PLLC, a full-service matrimonial law firm that provides legal representation in no-fault divorce and other family law matters. Read more about New York divorce law and procedure at http://www.RapaportLaw.com
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